Sunday, December 21, 2003

Oh my god, blog. This weekend did not have enough hours in it. Boo! On Friday, I had to powernap to function, then experiment with vinyl for present-making. Very different than expected. Instead of easy and fast, it was over an hour of figuring out how to make the stupid material agree with me in terms of sew-ing ma-chine. I think I got it, but by that time I was ready to quit and catch a cab with Sara to then grab Gin and go to Dragonfish for some deliciouso tofu pillows and pearl sake. Yum-um!

Saturday was like - woah! Why did I wake up at almost 10am? Guess I WAS exhausted from the week...B and I lazed about until about 11:15 and then took the boat down to southcenter for some extremely efficient shopping. We did marvelous, I am so glad Bri doesn't dawdle about and we both had the goal to go in and get out. Then we came home only to walk downtown for another two-and-a-half hours, where I get a coffee and Bailey's to help out with the last tidbits of shopping...I almost exploded in several different ways, trying to navigate around this crazy town (on foot, even!) and get things Done. But yes, we came home and were both too wiped to cook. (yay pizza)

Today...oh, I can barely even keep typing! Today Holly came to meet me around 10:45am and we walked downtown for just about three hours. Have I done enough walking this weekend or What. Goal today was to get Holly's shopping done and finish my Cards. While the ones for my work-buddies (are out of control. really.), I will still come home to make some more cards tomorrow. But I think I have a beta version down for next year, it will be really snappy. Plus, I took pictures before they are going to be sent off, I think that might help?

Okay I am so over this weekend. I've been working now since 8pm and just want to SLEEP. Stupid busy weekend, too much work to do, so much shopping, and I feel full of spirit but weary. Very excited for Whistler, much more so than for Stupid Sales Meeting. Excited to relax with everyone, for Tandoori, for Sushi perhaps, for some actual riding and not just a couple runs and then backdownforwork. Phew.

Sleep...oh bed, you are so sweet to me...exhausted.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Rant: sick of all the work that is piled on us. Not a chance of creativity to seep out of anywhere. We are busy busy and I have tunnelvision.

Rave: B got me a boquet of cute anemones! They don't smell, but they are so colorful and look like something you could make out of crepe paper, perhaps. Their leaves are clustered and I just Love seeing them by my desk.

Tried making christmas cards with my wonderful printer last night. Looks like although I know tons about web graphics, I have a lot to learn about my digital camera and how to bring in images at 300dpi instead of changing it afterwards. Duh.

Going up to Whistler for a week did nothing but take away from my creative time. I need that! OK back to work so I can do my own work tonight...

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Today sucks. I hate being at work today. All I can do to keep from crying my eyes out is keep my headphones on tight, don't look over to see what is going on across my room. I can't wait for the 4:30 boat to come and pick me up, while I'm sitting in Hunter's car trying to avoid eye contacts and conversations. Just want to go home and curl up in the oceans of blankets on the bed. Sleep, tears, nothing work. I hate that so much work is piled up but my brian wants to divert. My eyes don't want to focus on these screens.

Still hooked on Transatlanticism. It's like a lullaby for me to code to.
You know what I could do without?

When I'm walking down the hall at work, like over by the mailboxes, for example, and I pass some person I don't know and I get that GRIN. Like saying, hey, I'm friendly. You don't know me, we just happen to both work for the same company, but I can at least smile. The eye contact is never warm, it's just business as usual.

Stupid business.

Monday, December 15, 2003

What an awesome weekend! B, my dad, Becky and I tripped out to the cabin and did some major nothings. For having such a packed schedule, it was supernice to put in some time for not running around, not snowboarding, not anything. We got in late, had a beer, went to bed. Saturday we slept in until 10.20am which is pretty much unheard of for me...guess I needed it? Walked down to the river which was silently being covered in snowflakes. Took some lovely pictures of everything, ate hot cocoa, played scrabble & hearts, snowshoed (in the dark! with headlamps - very cool), knitted a ton and smiled more. I have said it a thousand times before, but how great is it, how many people can really say that their best friend is also who they want to marry? Words can't spell it out.

Now back on the island - wooo. Monster/Fangfish made it through the long stretch of no foods. I swear beta fish are the best. Low maintenance. And I think I may be able to last with Grandaddy for the morning. Really need to ween myself off of dc4c or I may tire of it too soon. Wear off the shine.

Ah la la. Such a great ad I get to work with - bye!

Friday, December 12, 2003

I really like the singer from Iron & Wine. Barely whispering sweet things. Listening to him makes me want to cry for beauty.

Today has blown by. Too many ideas, I can't focus. Need to prioritize and g-o. Finished my belt and now want to figure out what to do with big fun yard of clear vinyl. Need to find time to practice making truffles, I am guessing it won't be as easy as the instructions read. Sort of like fresh spring roll experiment. Wouldn't that be exciting though? It could also equal a big stomach-ache.

Beautiful roses sitting next to my desk. I love them! I love having flowers as company for when I work at home. Hi, flowers!


Thursday, December 11, 2003

So right now, I am officially
"so annoying"

I want to sew, I want to add mexico pics to my website. I want to have a glass of wine and watch a movie. I just don't feel like going to bed yet. Which is pretty out of the norm. I bet in twenty minutes I'll be snuggling up.

Tonight went to new fabric store for clear vinyl. I have grandiose ideas for belts, wallets and small handbags. While there (with only 25 minutes to closing) I had racing thoughts of embroidered pillow/cases, faux fur hats, thick felt bags and things with snaps on them. I hate that I don't know where to find the really good things like belt buckle/loops, neat snaps, etc. Prolly just second-hand or Red Light, right? We'll see. So anyway, I wanted to buy about a hundred dollars worth of things but couldn't justify it. This was purely a present-shopping visit.

And I am STILL listening to Transantlanticism. Tried some Halo Benders but I'm back. When will I tire of it? Soundtrack for December, it seems...

Very excited for the cabin.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Left: why is Mudhoney playing at the showbox?
Right: i dunno, maybe it could be good, like you're back in highschool?
Left: yeah...sorta skeptical on this though, I didn't like their later think it could be fun?
Right: Oh i didn't say that. i think it could be, but prolly better to stay home and see if someone else went. showbox is probably twenty bucks anyway.
Left: good call.

That is the conversation my brain had when I saw mudhoney on the

i am waiting for you to flee the scene
as if you held in your hand the smoking gun
and on the floor lay the one they said you loved


Thank gad I'm home again. It's really terrible, but I'm starting to tire of Whistler. Who does that? Who gets tired of being surrounded by gorgeous mountains and snow dumps? (me.) It really would have been more fun, less lonely, not so drab if B were up there with me. Big fat OH WELL to that because imhome! Really made good time w/Hunter. Left the Delta at 1:40, crossed truck customs at 4pm and dropped him off pretty much at 6pm. Got home, got kisses, went out to Machiavelli with B. Haven't really cared for it the past couple times we've gone, but last night was pretty much good - the spinach ravioli did it for me. And I remembered that although a chianti is what I want, at Machiavelli it's the house red/merlot that is best.

The cat, snuggling and toes at bedtime, finally some good music on the radio...I love travelling and being out but right now all I want to do is nerd out on my computer and drink tea. Mmm.

Can I just say that I hate bro-brahs? I saw so many blowjobs this past week and it's really disgusting. People need to just realise they work for a snowboard company, and that in itself is fun. But they don't need to be so upping each other and kissass. I prolly didn't see all that I could have, being that I was busy and also avoiding most crowds and parties...

Oh and I also have to say that it sucks when you have to go somewhere for a long time and your best friend, your boyfriend, isn't there. So that everything you want to go and have fun doing, is without him. Paints everything a shade of lonely. A shade of appreciating that other friends were there just a little more. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful, loving relationship. Something that most people should envy. Though I never knew it possible to have such a large love, every day I am overwhelmed with feelings of appreciation, awe, wonderment at what we have.

Begonia really wants to play. She's climbing all over the couch and running around at high speeds. And I can't stop listening to transatlanticism! On the way home we were stuck because my smart ass forgot my cds back at the hotel. I swear deathcab is good in any situation. Ben Gibbard = makes soundtrack to my life. Weird. kexp just played some new strokes song and I sorta liked it. What does THAT mean?

Two days we go to the cabin. Two weeks we go back up to Whistler. Twenty days and we hop on a plane to Jackson HOle! Wooohee to that! This month is so packed with fun I can hardly think about the work that is also piling up. Stupid work. Stupid everybody wants their own site and we have zero creative realm to embrace. Glad that work is opening up here, would be nice to go do something different, something appreciated.

Gotta clean frog's pad. Feeling responsible for their uncomfortableness. Maybe if we named them...I would attach personality and also more parental responsibility to them? Horrible me.

Monday, November 24, 2003

I wish the world was flat like the old days
& I could travel just by folding the map
no more airplanes or speedtrains or freeways -

there'd be no distance that could hold us back.

Such an impressive show on Friday! Oh, the songs they sang...the dancing and Love I felt inside! Big smiles, still as I keep listening to Death Cab, I love the pretty pictures they paint in my head as I work. Watercolors, not watered-down, but dauby and blots and such.

Holy cow I have work cut out for me this (two-day) week. Gotta get the going on!

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Weird Dream I Had:

I was staying on this farm with a girl who I (really) met in Mexico, she lives up in Kamloops and is name Dominga. We were hiding out in her attic for some reason (it was cold?) and we had to keep covering up the windows with blankets and had nothing but some nails and random items to use as a hammer, to keep the coverings in place. There wasn't really any furniture; sleeping bags were strewn across the floor. There were a bunch of those and it looked like it should stink like a hippie room but it didn't. I don't remember any smells. The two of us were sticking our heads out of this window that was near the back of the room, it was biting cold outside but she had this cigarrette she wanted to smoke and so that window was left open. I smelled it and it smelled like pot, but also like some herbs. So I asked her what it was and she said "thursday smoke". It looked like a joint, and I smoked some and my whole head went upside-down. Like when you watch a movie and you're looking straight ahead, then the camera pans down to your feet really fast, then spins around in a circle, then you're looking back at the ceiling. That's what happened to me, what I saw, when I smoked it. I looked down from the window where we were and saw that the room we were on was actually connected to a truck bed, like a trailor. But the room we were in was so big! It was almost the size of my apartment, so maybe 600 sq. ft? She kept smoking the joint, and dropping it on the window sill. And she also kept repeating "thursday"...not even looking at me, it was like we were in two separate worlds, really. The truck started to move, and everything was shifting in our room. Now there Was furniture - dressers were sliding back and forth across the entire length of the room, on the shiny wood floor. Dominga kept smoking. We were travelling on a bumpy, rocky dirt road. The blankets were all falling off the windows, and light was streaming in. It was hurting my eyes, it was brighter than normal sunlight. Then we laid back on the sleeping bags, with everything shifting and rolling and bumping along. Looking up at the ceiling, it was like a big patchwork system. It might have even been made out of cloth, so many different patterns and shapes it was like looking at a very close-up view of a model farm or something that is usually very small and miniature.

Monday, November 10, 2003

Or, should I say: flu shots "provided by" RM. So if he doesn't see your name on the list, you know he's gonna keep a log in his head about it and if you do end up getting sick, he's gonna terminate you. Yeah, I know...presidents of companies don't really have time or interest in keeping up with things like that, but it was in back of my mind. So I got one. Don't know if I have gotten one before, but gee my arm hurts now. Weird how I didn't even know it was going in and now it's all sore. Great. Ran around Greenlake last night so my legs are also sore. I'm just a big sore-ball today. Whee. Oh and I woke up this morning and think I had some vertigo, it was like I was drunk. I'm not kidding you. I had to hold on to things to keep from falling over, and I have felt slightly dizzy/naucous all day. Plus, it's real hard to see straight. (wah!)

Saw thee movies this weekend. Here is my synopsis:
#1: Lost in Translation. Very good movie. One of the best I've seen (ever?). Had touching, real moments - or, rather the whole thing seemed very real and plausible. I liked that the girl in it wasn't some skinny, beautiful, make-up-faced girl who talked a bunch of poo. I liked that the end, only she could hear what Bill Murray whispered in her ear. I liked that (I think) they fell in love - but it was a desperate, lonely, out of need for company kind of love. It was sweet, and I had tears in my eyes for one scene.

#2: Elf. Funny! Will Farrell is going on a good track, and I really laughed throughout this movie. Ending got sorta mushy/stoopid but hey - it's rated PG. You gotta expect stuff like that. Don't think I'd buy it, but glad I saw it on a Saturday night.

#3: Scary Movie 3. Maybe I should have actually watched all of #1 and also seen #2 before seeing this? It was funny (not so much as Elf), but about 1/2-3/4 of the way through, I sorta lost interest and felt like it lost the funniness and tried to hold on to a disintegrating story line. Good DVD rental material for sure. I am back on the rock. My Flash class was great. Now if I can just get six hours in front of a computer on Sundays, maybe I can just morph myself into one...trying to keep up with stretching so I don't get all wah and have to do PT again. I feel like I can't shut up lately. I keep talking, I type into this blog, I call B all the time. What is going on that I can't just think inside my brain and trust my memory to remind myself of telling someone information Later? Like I don't have a memory and must transmit:NOW.

Breakfast on Sunday at Longshorman's Daughter. Very delicious, as usual.

Going to try (if I remember!) to cut my hair tonight. Ridden with split-ends. woo.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Ouf. Still with head cold. This thing is determined to get in the way of my work! I have wonderful plans to get this hype section finished, but every day I feel pretty much worthless by 2pm. BIGWAH!

This weekend I start the much anticipated Flash 2 course! Very excited to learn more advanced concepts, esp. because Ali is already having me incorporate them into the sites...yay, me!

And not much else to report on, really...been hanging far low after work, doing a little knitting and trying to get this SQL mail thing straight. I swear, it's right on the tip of my...err - fingertips. No need to bore you with that sheyt though. Also been doing some good reading of a new author B's dad helped us discover. Carl Hiassen. Great stuff, good mystery/drama/law. Highly recommend 'Sick Puppy', which I can very much see being made into a movie.

Saw farewell CW show last friday. That was a sad, beautiful sight. As usual, my eyes welled up during the Valentine song. A special treat was the avril lavigne cover - HA! So many good songs, good shows came from that band, sucks they're not around anymore...

My brain is becoming saturated with congestion and snot, so I must go now.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

It's never good to wake up with a cold. At four this morning, I knew today would be groggy and tea-infused. I like that there isn't much little updating to be done here at work, the bulk of my projects really are projects and not little to-do's. Lovely.

put it away
check out for the day
in for a round of over-exposure
the thing mother nature provides
to get up & go

bottle up and explode - seeing stars
surrounding you: red, white & blue

you look at him like you've never known him
but i know for a fact that you have
the last time you cried, who'd you think was inside?

It's too bad about him. Such lovely, secret songs...though I wasn't a fan of the whole thing it is always sad to know that there won't be any more.

Ravioli, I like ravioli. Ravioli, it's the one for me!
Excited to start flash 2 class. It's about time, right? I have too many projects, I think, to ever tackle them all. Does that cause anxiety? Liking to have projects and things waiting around to do, but having too many and not stopping the accumulation?

Looking forward to dinner w/B's parents!

Monday, October 27, 2003

Hola, Blog.

Seems like I've been ignoring this part of my blog-world. How would you like an update? I am currently:
- making lentil burritos
- drinking pumpkin ale (Buffalo Bill's Brewery)
- waiting on loads of laundry
- listening to new OutKast

Returned super late last night/this morning from (yearly) Mexico trip. Drove down to PDX ($140 cheaper tix) on the eve of the 16th. Spent the evening drinking beers with Brian & Mark's friend Casey & his wife Chelsea. Slept little that night, to wake up and arrive at the Portland airport at 4:45am. We were greeted with a lovely $100 fee for the surfboards - !!! I couldn't believe the lady didn't charge us more for that whoppin' nine-foot coffin!

So anyway, normal airport/layovers/sleepiness/mixedwithexcitement ensues, and we arrive in PVR at 3pm - Jalisco time. Hail a taxi for a third of the asked price and zoom our asses to Sayulita.

What a great crew! B, Mark & myself...looking for nothing but surfing, exploring, cheap beers and taco stands. Thank GOD my digital camera now has six movies and 200+ pictures on it. Plus the cameras those guys brought, I don't know if there was a moment longer than ten minutes survived without a photo documenting it! Can't wait to get into work tomorrow and download all of them. Then there's the web documentation...I think I can pull that off without much fuss. Maybe some flash auto-slideshow or insertions? Still thinking...

Our little ten-day stint went by slow, then fast, then all of a sudden we're home today and have work to look forward to (as usual). I think the thing that is really going to stand out in my memory are the waves. They were larger, more consistent and just really so much more Fun than I have ever seen them down there! Never thought I would spend my vacation time hanging out at the Beach under an umbrella, but that really was the best plan and once we started, it lasted four days. I could read, wander around to stores for food, or hop in the water whenever I wanted. It's not like our house was that far away - because it wasn't, but it was just So Convenient to bring everything to the Beach and pay the darn $5.00 for the chair & umbrella use.

Emotions, sights and sounds really can't be relived in this blog. Too bad! I'm going to be slammed at work this week & next, not even sure of all the things going on that I missed. Want to get pictures posted and adventures official SOON.

Damn I made a good batch of burritos! I like that there are some things I can cook well. Next I'm trying some squash. I don't think it will be that hard, but I'm already thinking of yummy things to make with it. Soup, bread, muffins, dip?

Between the hour-changeover and being an hour ahead for a little over a week, I'm starting to get sleepy.


Friday, September 12, 2003

Made a nice little list of things that are better to do tonight than go out. Some light cleaning, some projects, some cards to write. In comes the rain, and with it arrives a lust for hermit-ism. Tonight I organised my file drawer and am baking cookies! They didn't turn out how I wanted (though I'm currently baking the 3rd set, so we'll see) but they still remain pretty tasty: reese's pieces with oatmeal. Had a hard time finding a recipe, seeing as reese's doesn't just give you one like hershey's does.

Well. Glad this week is over, I am head-over-heels in love with the atHome for the weekend idea. The past few months have been a flurry of fun, trips, things to-do galore! But I am ready for a pleasant chill-out session.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

About a week ago I was reading in Discover Magazine, about human evolution and what we learn from studying and examining fossils of our ancestors. At some point in the article, there was discussion of what our next relatives will look like, how they will advance from us. From now.

Today, I am sitting at my computer. I have a keyboard tray. I have an ergonomic chair and keyboard. I have blocks under my desk legs, to help elevate it to the proper height so that my body isn't crunched or being forced into uncomfortable positions.

My proposal is that in another million years, what our relatives will be seeing are bone structures that are hunched from sitting at computers, cracked wrists and longer arms from reaching for the mouse. The internet super highway has its impacts!

Disgusting, I know.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

they're all surrounding,
we're both hoping -
they're slowly attempting one thing
to stand up
with dignity - to walk away

This song haunts me in the morning, with its quiet whispers and jen's voice in the background. I can't believe they're breaking up and we'll never get to see them after nov.2!

Such a great weekend, such a beautiful time we had...
Thursday was Coastal Kitchen and Man! those guys can cook up some wicked dishes. I ordered up some ginger chicken that had just that right amount of jerk sauce on it, and the veggies were Mmm. B got this BEEF dish but he loved it. For dessert - ohmygod - fresh, sliced fruit with a rum/cinnamon/nutmeg glaze with coconut ice cream! My tastebuds were in ecstasy and I could not stop taking bites. More than savory, this dish was filled with wonderful tastes every bite. YUM. After such a pleasant dinner-time, we weren't ready to go home yet. So we skipped down to the Hop Vine pub, which neither of us (strangely) had been to before. It was a smoke-friendly bar but lucky for us, it was smoke-free (or, relatively) that night. Comfortable air was drifting in from the doorway, and we enjoyed some imported beers they had on tap. I loved that night, it will always stick in my memory. We always have beautiful and easy conversation, Brian and I. I love him so much!

Now for the quick recap:
Friday I worked from home so we could go down to Bumbershoot w/Sara & Brendan to get MM tickets for everyone. After work, Nick & Christy showed up, we met up with Mark and Stevie and vroooom! headed down to the show. It's still strange to me that Modest Mouse isn't more popular - that they couldn't even fill up half of the stadium, on a Friday night. Setlist was crazy, too! Along with the four new songs they played (which are great), we got some cowboy dan & trailer trash. Plus others that really get me dancing, but I didn't used to follow the song names, so forget about it.

Saturday Ohh, lovely lounge at home day! Breakfast at the B&O (used to be restricted, gave it another chance!) - shaking up some good bloody mary's at that place! Nice little hangover cure, they've got. Scones are a Go...
Spent some nice time just doing n-o-t-h-i-n-g at the apartment...feet up on the couch, sprawled across the bed, talking about everything and nothing with B...Around 2 it was time to get ready for ye grande ole' Cirque du Soleil. I had never been and neither had B; it was our present to each other. Very excited to go, very excited to have gone. It was mezmerizingly beautiful. Captivated audience we were, I didn't want it to stop. Beautifully intricate costumes and well-played out parts. Equal parts laughter, skill, amazement, gymnastics, and love. Go!

Sunday It was all about getting out & skating today! Jeezus, how long had it been?? weeks? SO, we were supposed to rally out to Bainbridge but a flaw in communications led us out to Bonney Lake. That's fine with me! The snakerun/bowl there is just sick, so fun! It felt like no time had gone by, I was loving the nipple, the corner curve, the bowl and yeah! the loup-de-loup. Time flew by there, it was so much fun. We didn't have a bbq that day, but the little dip I took in the lake felt sooo necessary. Love water. Love swimming and being in it. At Eli & Michelle's, I floated a little down the river by their house and it was a little piece of heaven...Just lay back my head, lifting up the feet and d r i f t. Love it!

Monday Had a little bit of a late waking-up but gathered together w/friends and headed down for Day Two at Bumbershoot. Carissa's Wierd played their second-to-last show and it was Perfectly Sad. Beautiful songs, I had goosebumps the entire show. They played everything I like listening to and more. Last song, it was just the two of them doing a little duet. I am very looking forward to nov.2.
That night was Wilco, and they played two of the songs that I always think of B when I hear. I love that we have our songs, our bands, that we "adopted" for our own. Cute! Bonus round that night, we had time after Wilco to eat foods and catch Pedro! I haven't seen Casey in forever, but it made me happy to see that him & Jen are engaged!! I miss seeing Casey as much as I used to, but am happy he found a girl that compliments him well and makes him happy. He was always wanting that, and really deserves it.

I love everything about what I've been doing. This year has been flying by, I can't believe many things have been done and so many dates to come! I am so happy, so content and so smiley inside.

Friday, August 22, 2003

Well, well, well. So I finally decide to post again! Good for me. Hi-5, melissa!

Since it has been nearly a month (tsk, tsk!) since my last update, here's the skinny of the phat:
This weekend we (hunny, mark & I) are heading out to Plain to visit Eli & Michelle. A birthdays celebration of sorts. I have only met the duo once back in January, but it was good times, down to earth. Excited to get out and slowww dowwwn. We have been on the GoGoGo for the last I don't know how many months.
Let's see:
- went to Chelan and met Mark's parents. Great Folks! They have a beautifully awesome little house with plenty of places to camp out. We played scrabble, went out on the boat (lovely cruise) and up to some rocks B & Mark knew of. This is the same place that they historically peed on each other...I hate jumping off of things, and this was I think over 20'. Super deep-blue water, the kind that makes you think the Loch-Ness is lurking under there, but I knew it was safe. We drank some beers, watched some stupid gawkers, Brian did a naked backflip off the rock for them. HA! And then, Then I jumped in. Did it three times, so I hope the next time I go back there I'll have the guts to do it then, too. That was fun, getting over a little hung-up fear like that.
So, that's Chelan. Wonderfully relaxation, pleasant memories. Love to go back.

- went hiking from Ozette to Rialta Beach. This was with my sista and my hunny. We camped out in LaPush one night, then left a car there and one in Ozette. It was about a 20-mile hike and we slept two night over it. First night was all sandy, easy walking and camped right there on the beach. I Loved seeing the sea otters enjoying their catch, and the alone-ness over there at Yellow Banks. We're gonna go back there, it was an easy hike in but damn - nobody there! Perfect. The rest of the hike (14 miles?) was a Lot of rock hiking/clambering. I really didn't believe the book when it said we were in for a moderate/strenuous hike. Nuh-uh. But there we were, oh yes, hiking the most technical, most concentrating shit right out on our coast. We had to keep with the tides, many places got drowned in high-tides and luckily we crossed at Just the right times. It was slippery, balancing, serious business. But the campsites, the fires and everything just US was so very worth it. I loved that, and am so glad B and I can do so much together! Cheers to us, honey - we've got many adventures to come.

- ooh and the weekend after that was Marci & Matty's wedding. Beautiful. I don't think I can write too much about this because pictures do more glory than my words. Everyone that came was fun to be around, to meet and par-tay with. (though I really Did Not need those shots across the street!) I had a fun time, dressing up for reals for my first time I can remember. We went to the zoo and out to pizza - it was a grand adventure weekend. Packed with fun. The kind where I come home feeling like I could still do more, if it weren't so close to my bedtime! (and yes, I have YET to post pictures from anything...bad, bad melissa!)

Coming up are still MORE adventures, can you believe it? Me neither. (properly: Neither can I?) Those I can't divulge in yet, seeing as we're not to those days. In-between these days, I have been working. Work is going good though I really want to take some classes. I'm feeling stagnant and everyone is driving me crazy. Do this, change that, add this measly bit of info. I want CREATIVITY here, people! Blarf.

Everything is going so grand, so much love in my heart for everything right just keeps growing and I Love all of it!

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Oooh, so very Excited to just THINK about getting a new computer. How lovely it would be, to send off my ole' trusty (but outdated) PC away and welcome in a fresh, swifty G4 or such. Not done reviewing yet, and would like to actually Go To a store and talk to some salespersons...Gad, ack salespeople!

Work has gotten back into a lovely pace. It is easier coming in now, and easier to want to leave early, seeing as it has been warmer and sunnier and whatnot.

This weekend my dear Grandpa is having his NINETIETH birthday party! Go, grandpa! B will get to meet my whole extended family, aside from removed cousins and such. Might be around 70 people there? Very excited for this. I get to bring a salad, which I hope to WOW everybody with. I am in love with salads.

Everything has been super on the homefront. Hunny brought home three large, beautiful boquets last night and they really lit up the house! Nothing looks better on the kitchen's sill than a big bunch of yellow lilies, orange daisies and little white whoosey-whatsits. Thanks, B!

And we've been surfing more. I put on my goals for work to go surfing ten times this summer. So far, I've got three and plus one more this weekend. I think I just might make it! There is nothing like leaving everything in my mind on shore, and playing in the water. I absolutely love it. Makes me excited inside, thinking about everywheres to go vacationing and have the opportunity to surf.

Check out my website soon: Day of being made-up at Burnt Sugar (in Fremont) and My New Shoes!! Wheeeee!

Sunday, July 20, 2003

You know what bothers me? People that don't return emails or phone calls for almost two weeks, then stop by unannounced and want to "catch up". I said I was busy working right now, I have no idea what you've been up to lately and now is Not convenient for me to chat - especially because it will mean I can't work, I will have to deviate my thoughts from cetera.

I am fine with people getting busy with other things. I think what I am hurt by here is that I have been a good friend, a good listener, offering advice freely and sincerly -- and then sporatically you pop by to chat -- and you're leaving for another state tonight so I won't be seeing you for another week at least!

Now, is this a dumb rant? I don't know, probably I shouldn't put so much weight on it. Part of me knew feelings like this were coming so maybe I was waiting to release them? Questions that don't need answers, feelings that can simmer and leave.

I think what best describes my feelings is this:
I feel like I was a friend as a space-filler for a little bit. Once A. moved in, I don't see you anymore. You're not lonely, not living alone anymore. Maybe you're working more and that's understandable for sure...but can you at least return phone calls and talk to me in some other way besides email and text messaging? Something more personal than popping by real quick when we haven't talked in a couple weeks?

Also this:
Cancers are sensitive. To Everything. And we are quick to put up walls against things that hurt us.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

"Everybody is a star
I can feel it when you shine on me
I love you for who you are
Not the one you feel you need to be"

We're going to write Belle & Sebastian to see if they will play at our wedding.

Trying to think of something cunning and a wee bit persuasive...

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Good day to you. Well, my Birthday had a very pleasant elongation. (was elongated?) Friday after work - which I could Not get out of Early as I wished - we hopped in the packed car and made it down to nearly Manzanita, OR. Wanted to camp in Short Sands but of course, those were full. Doh! So we camped in/near Cannon a lovely field, in a trailer park. But no worries, we got in late and took off before we paid!

Surfing on Saturday was Whoo-eee Fun! The waves were coming in nice sets, pretty even and then a break every now and then to give me a chance to paddle back out. B and me stayed sort of close to each other, and it was fun to watch him learn. I love that we surf together! He's picking it up well, too.

The Oregon coast is just so pretty. Not like the Canadian Rockies or a nice vase of pink roses either. It's pretty in the sense that you get more of a feeling of vastness when you look out over the cliffs above the ocean. A feeling that you aren't as big and significant. Humbling. Our weather though, it decided to get wet and slightly drizzly on Saturday afternoon. After surfing we hung out and did crosswords on the beach for awhile, and it was nice and warm. Then I swear, as soon as we got in the car, it started raining a bit.

But that was OK! For on Sunday, after camping in the horse area (!) of Nehalem Bay, really. It wasn't stinky or gross. It was WAY more secluded and private than the other sardine-packed sites at this place. Nehalem bay has some 50 campsites, and 80% had kids. It was unruly. So, anyway we camped in the horse area...walked down to the windiest beach in the west and roasted marshmallows. Mellow but uplifting night. After this, we checked out the surf and opted to go East towards Portland and:


Oh Newberg, you have such a fun little snake run and capsule. And you weren't crowded on Sunday. Too bad I ate a crappy breakfast at some roadside trout-feeding pond restaurant. It completely bogged me down and I was too lethargic to be of any good at the skatepark. B had fun though; it was a good bit hotter out too, with the sun shining.

What fun summer is! Then last night, against warnings of flat surf, us dumbasses drove out to the coast in hope of more fun waves. Alas! What is this? After a super sleep session at the campground in Westport, we groggily awake at 5am to fog and f-l-a-t water. Waves were barely even able to lap at the shore. In disbelief, we checked all spots and called it a morning. I slept as B drove us back into Seattle - made it back by 8:00 - good for us.

That's my adventures for now...more (pictures included) will be published on my website.

Friday, July 11, 2003

Ah yes, summertime is in Full Effect. Sweet, sweet summer...waking to crisp but comfortable air, keeping the windows open all day...Ta-da!

Tonight I leave on the 2:45 (fingers crossed) to trek on down to Short Sands, i.e. Manzanita, for surfing aplenty and to pay a little visit to Newburg. Yayy Newburg! For my birthday, B said we could do anything I wanted. At first I wanted to camp out in E. Washington, but now I'm like - wait. Is that Really what I want to do? It's all dry there...and not really full of skateparks. I think what he would really like to do would be to spend a weekend doing nothing at a nice hotel, somewhere nice - but now we're both so excited to surf and hang out in Oregon. So very glad that B likes surfing. It's much better when your best friend likes doing the same things you do!

My birthday was two days ago and I am still happy inside from it. Never knew they could be so much fun! Went to Beppo's (must post pictures from my *NEW* digital camera on website)(Thank-you, Brian!) and it was a really great crowd of people. Couldn't ask for anything more...then we went to Linda's for some babble and vodka-crans. And to see my sister have some drinks, for once! Good job, sista. Very much looking forward to mini-roadtrip with her next month. I do wish she wasn't going to skool so far away because I miss her, but the times we have together are getting richer. We're growing closer and I love it.

I don't really have time to type much. Man, I haven't documented anything! Work has been 100% full-speed ahead lately. That is a good thing - I am loving it and we are very busy. Thought things would slow down after the k2snow & ride sites went up but golly, no! This week I've been running at 75-80% because we didn't have any break for almost three months. Once I hand in this 5150 shit hopefully ski can come in. Uck, can't write about work in Blog. Sorry.

And I didn't write about Calgary. Those are more pics that will go up on the site. THAT was a vacation. Man...Tues-Sun. That's almost a week away. It was such a break, mentally to get out like that. I was living every minute where I was, to the fullest. Learning to FINally drop in was an accomplishment for me. Never knew how hard I can be on myself. It was easier, having the world's most patient boyfriend there helping me. I can't say for sure that I'd like to go back to Calgary per se, but definitely back into the Banff regions. Those mountains are the most majestic, awesome sight. So powerful.

My mind is high on everything right now. I am having the Best Summer!

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Hey! Oh how much do I LOVE getting away like that? Friday night we moseyed up to Whistler, where scrabble playing ensued and I stepped in Stevie's beer-spit. Socks in garbage. Saturday woke up and hmmm, it's a little damp out. What! The tops of the mountains were a mystery, shrouded in thick fog. Pretty scary-looking to go up and ride so we all hopped in the white whale to head North: Mission find Indoor Skatepark. B & me had seen a flyer for an opening-day comp at this indoor skatepark that was somewhere up by Pemberton. Logic told us that if we asked the yokels in Pemberton where this park was, they could point the way. After asking three different groups of people, we emptied our bladders and headed out in unknown direction. According to the most "reliable-sounding" person, if we went "on that road to your left", and kept on it "even after it turns into a one-lane gravel road", we'd find it. We didn't know when, but estimations lead us to believe it was around 60km. So...we're on this dirt road, spirits are high, scenery is mind-blowing. It was SO gorgeous out there, even more magnificent than Whistler. We stayed on that road for quite some time. Road went up, road followed long dropoffs, road was found to have two cute bear cubs chillin' in it. Look, there's the mama! Those were precious.

This expedition, we held up pretty well. Mark was fuming (because his newly-fixed car was getting worked!), though it wasn't easy to tell. I think we all were thinking, at one point or another, that we felt absolutely daffy for thinking that we would find a skatepark out in the middle of ginormous mountains and wilderness. It was just too absurd! After a bunch of outbursts and jokes, the din died down to a few comments here and there, and our token drunk took a nap in the back. We drove about an hour-and-a-half on this dirt road. It was never ending! At a random crane, out in the middle of literally nowhere, we turned around. No skatepark. I know it's there somewhere, Braelorn (sp?) does exist, but all the locals of Pemberton seemed just a little confused as to where it actually IS. See MAP

See that river to the left? I think that's what we were following. It was pretty massive. Felt very nostalgic of dinosaurs roaming the earth, if that makes any sense.

We Never found the now legendary indoor skatepark of Bralorne. Maybe next time, right? So we kept driving right on out of Pemberton and I tried to ride the skatepark we knew, but my legs were pretty weak from sitting in a car for five hours. Five Hours!

The rest of the weekend consisted of blissfully satisfying skatepark riding and tourage, mini scrabble tourneys and MMmmm food consumption. Oh god, how I love to eat! And those martinis and the Mongolie Grill....deammmn! I wish I had my own little mongolie grill here in my kitchen. How supercool would that be? "hmm, I'm hungry -- I think I'll go have my pick of whatever I want from my little mongolie-bar..."

I was away long enough to let my mind off on a tangent and not think about anything but where I was. I wish I had the ability to do that at any time. No more worrying about this or that randoms, just being where I am. It was very refreshing to get away from everything.

I am so grateful with what life has given me. I have so much to appreciate and enjoy!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

well i'll go to college and i'll learn some big words
and i'll talk real loud -
goddamn right i'll be heard!
you'll remember that guy that said all those big words he must've learned in college
and it took a long time
i came clean with myself.
i fell clean out of love with my lover -
i still love her
love her more when she used to be sober and i was kinder.

Oh my god, this song is making me so sad I can't stop listening to it. Just the ending though. It's all misty out and goddamnit I have to press out these stupid dana pages...too much work. Not enough time. Sooooo, SO excited to venture up to Vissler this weekend! How nice it will be, to have a four-day workweek next week. It will definitely be a feat if we pull off bikes, boards AND skating. Hope the weather feels like coooperating.

Today has been super productive and I feel fulfilled with what I've done today. Look, I'm a cog in the working world! Hah.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

YARR BLOG! First-mate Marcy here, cap'n crunch'n all...

Man I just can't work anymore. Coming in on the early boat is now a staple but Jeesh it's like - how long can I just straight w-o-r-k for? Stoptime. So last weekend was the Best. I cannot get over how much fun I have while surfing. I also cannot figure out how I used to get past bigger waves. Was I just not as worn out? The scene is becoming so big, there were at least 20 people in the water down by the fingers last week. What else is cool is the growing number of chicks doing it. Yay, us! The minority of everything besides pregnancy. And lesbianism. Aaand, what else? I know we're not the minority of everything. Now I'm remembering a lovely conversation with Eli and B and Michelle about things that women really can do better than men. Hmph. But yes, surfing was very rewarding, fun, exhilerating - and cute to see B out there too! I love being out in the water, out floating and out pushing myself to new places.

Work is getting under control. About a month ago, I was swimming. Very happy to have that turn around. And my teensy spit of a raise. This company is such a Joke, I swear! Can't wait to go back to skool. Need to figure out what it is I'd really rather do longterm - both of the fields of interest (if I do narrow it down to those two) are pretty specific.

Yelch, time to catch zee ferry. Wondering if I could leave car in parking lot overnight...such a waste, to have missed acupuncture today. Oh well, always tomorrow! I think I'm going to request 15 needles in my wrist alone, this time. Stuipid CT.

Monday, June 02, 2003

Why the Verve, blog? Aaah it's so sad!
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown - this time I'm coming down. (talk about Wah!)

This weekend was so much fun! Scrabble is a bad disease sometimes. I am very excited for summer to finally be here, skating at Burien on Saturday was So Much Fun I think I might burst. That is something I needed to do, just hang out in the sun and skateskateskate! It's fun going with the same people too, seeing them learn new tricks. Grrr, that's something I need to do. Was getting quite frustrated! I'd love to get a new skateboard for my bday. Something about bigger wheels, going faster...?

And then surfing - oh yay! I am so jittery for this weekend to come so that me & B can get out there...definitely good times. It felt good to be back in the waves, back with the water. Floating...paddling...looking around and seeing people who love the effort and fun of surfing. Love it. See, now I'm glad I have an extra board - it's very handy for having people come with who don't have their own! Oh, and the sun came out...glistening off the waves, and then the foamy leftovers from a wave crashing past. Going surfing makes me all excited like when I was learning how to snowboard. And the Sun!

Must get back to work -- wanted to log the fun weekend before it becomes Wednesday.

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Holy two-boat work schedule, Blog. Very pleased I caught the 6:55 today...

Just found out that spinach and peanuts block your body from absorbing calcium. But not chocolate = Interesting.

Looking forward to Whistler this weekend!! I hope it warms up up there, just checked and it is a rigid 30F. Not exactly what I'd like but hey that's good! Also hoping it stays dry because I would very very much like to go skatepark touring up the hwy as well. Fun weekend coming up with my honey! I love it that we can do anything together & don't get bored and don't run out of words to say. Love that we are going out of town, to forget about things for a few days.

Argh must work must Work! Bogged down in a swamp, must work. Belle & Sebastian are perfect right now.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Oh Blog. I am getting tired of fixing my posture. I almost told my p.trainer to just tape me up so I can screw all these stretches and exercises. But my doktor wants to stop acupuncture & start on massage, which would be a lovely treatment.

B's birthday is tomorrow and Brian since you read this sometimes, I can't very well write what I got you now CAN I? Hah. Gin and I took the early boat (whee) and ran all over the place before finding what we needed: undisclosed birthday present item here. She sure can come in handy for knowing what to get for people! Such a lovely, thoughtful girl. This weekend is getting all full of stuffs.

And I want a nice new wide skateboard. Very envious of B's new deck...

On the positive, work is seeming accomplishable again. The tables are giving me issues but it's coming along nicely. Stupid MS with their stoopid .NET krap, they were in our office today filming and they were like "oh, you guys are the web department - can we film you like, doing some real-life work?" Ali and I both despise this attention. Ali more than I, likely, being as she really knows a whole bunch and nobody out there even knows a small percentage of it. Then this guy has to come out and - oh I don't know. I think it was also Vickie Mercer who creeps the entire company out. She came by, then lousy Pius and his droning voice came by With the Cameramen. Just obnoxious.

Ah yes, the positives...getting excited planning someone's birthday. Never done that before. Cute gerbera daisies here by my desk...all bright & cheery. Oooh and we're planning time up at the condo in Whistler - biking yay! Summer trips are looking splendid. I can't wait to go surfing! Want to nail down SD - excited to surf in warm weather. Oooh yes. Longboard skimming across bubbly waves with sunshine on my back, sounds of crashing water and getting wet in my bathing suit. I.Can't.Wait!!

Monday, May 12, 2003

Limited mobility passenger elevator

Servicing the piling

Such a fun yesterday, canoeing! Seeing the blue heron very up-close, when it was stuck in the reeds...the eagle chasing the seagull...getting stuck backwards in the dead-ended tunnel. Mother goose, large mother goose, guarding her nest and scaring me. Having fields of lily pads surrounding and the sun shining its rays right through the bright green leaves, casting soft glow across everywhere I look. And then having to pee in the middle of the fun.

Rotating scrabble board = trouble.

Friday, May 09, 2003

Ug. Highly delerious due to lack of proper sleep. Bedtime: 2am. Awaketime: 5:45. Stupid early boat. What in god's name was I thinking? Stupid scrabble addiction. I wasn't even playing with good score last night.


- work. finish Ride boards...specs & features. need to create interactivity per Tara's req?

- mandatory picnic. no longer care about rumored beer.

- followed by mandatory meeting. hmph.

- acupuncture. maybe she can stick a needle somewhere that will make my body think it has gained sleep?

- sleep, cozy, lounge etc. tonight. highlight of the day!

Reheating hazlenut soy latte was worst idea in the world. Disgusting - took one sip and almost hurled self out of whale.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Staying up until almost midnight finishing pages just doesn't work when I have to wake up at 6:30. Lethargic drawl runs through my limbs.

DeathCab is just about all I can handle right now. Enough of stupid new White Stripes, no thanks Cory. ...stupid cory.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

I am eight years old. Today has not been a very good day. Today has made me want to scream because right now that's what I am doing inside. I hate feeling like my whole life built up to this day has been one big mistake and it's not getting any easier to figure out where I'm going. I hate that when we were putting up those framed polaroids in the kitchen that the sun had to come bashing down and make that loud noise. And I don't hate my kitty but I didn't like that watering pitcher to hurl itself off the windowsill when I opened the window, causing Begonia to leap out of my arms with her claws ripping into my arms, then landing on the lucky bamboo pot and cracking its lovely green varnish.


Brian's not good at small talk. And that's okay!

JoJos for dinner....that's okay, too. Thanks B for going and getting that because I am stuck here building out my 24 pages of snowboards. Yay.

Don't like how I've been feeling about myself this week. Want to crawl in a hole. Really don't want to go to the picnic on Friday, though beer is a good incentive. Stupid work picnic, stupid boss leaving for vacation so we have to come in on our days-off.

Oh I am full of complaints right now! Let's hear something positive, okay? ...I am looking at beautiful roses that my honey brought me. They smell lovely and remind me that even though I might not feel like it, I can be special.


Monday, May 05, 2003

Resisting the urge to go to scary upstairs cafeteria. Have been hearing good reviews lately from A, but still skeptical. I know there was a reason I was protesting!

Recent thoughts:

- when acupuncture/PT is finished, will maybe do yoga instead of kung foo

- whistler over memorial day/skate tour - very fun

- check into frequent flier miles/san diego surf trip

- when IS cory going to stop playing that g-damn postal service?

- want to go skating after work! it's all sunny!

- look up 2, 3-letter words for scrabble

See all the business inside my head right now? And I'm supposed to be working on these images for the dana site. Thank god the sb site's almost done...this pile isn't getting any smaller!

Excited Holly is coming home!

Sunday, May 04, 2003

Sucks it rained today. SO glad I went out yesterday w/Gin to Burien & Lakewood. It was nice, both weren't even packed and we got there a little late. That little brat that calls me fart-girl was there. He makes me want to vomit, these kids are so good, so young. I love it. Then at Lakewood it was funny, there was this dad there wearing all pads and a safety vest with "Volunteer Patrol" on the back. He was giving me tips on rolling off the spine. Gotta love it! Then we practiced our ollies next to the car and took off. Though I have no desire to hop curbs and skate street, I love that other people do because of the practice it takes to get that good.

And the little girl wearing her Good Charlotte t-shirt, with boots on.

Had a garage sale yesterday. B made $400 off his snowboard gear, etc. Yay garage sales. Boo to the fish & chips at Pacific Inn. Are they only good with beer? Today is a good day for me to get everything cleaned up, positive side of it being wet & can't skate. I can't believe the unpacking process has taken this long. But it feels good, I love everything about this place! Kinda weird that I live in the same building as Jody. I've never had a friend live in the same building before. Glad she keeps her blinds drawn because I like having mine open. I don't think I could be comfortable in my room unpacking everything if I looked up and saw her looking out her window. Ack.

Want to be huge recluse lately. Too much socialization squashes my mind from roaming.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

One question: WHY would you go to an all-skateboarding event, if you don't even skate? Please submit all responses directly to me. I want to know!


Too bad I'm at work today and can't leave flowers on people's doorsteps. That's ok, there aren't really flowers anywhere to pick.

So I am just about all moved in now and it feels So Good!! Very fun place we have now. And a new plan with Mexico: we're going to take a little vacation in October now - fun! It will be a bit of a burden off my back, I can focus on work and not worry about being tight for money. We'll do something superfun for B's birthday still, for sure. Want to have a party! And hopefully now, we can hang out in San Diego for a little weekend. I haven't been there since my 9th birthday. The only reason I remember that is because there was a little bookshop there I got to choose out a book. So I am not too sure what exactly we'd be doing down there, but it would be very fun to find some surf spots and just hang with my sweetie. So fun!

Good updates, we have. Work is a big hairy swamp right now, complete with alligators and wombats coming to get me. A bit of anxiety, and Ali feels the same way. Hope to hear good things about our budget today. Keeping fingers crossed.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Oh, what fun. Liquid, 5150 and Morrow ALL want sites this year, and of course *flash* would be the best method of execution. Why does it feel like work is this big uphill climb? So yay we had a meeting on it and somehow I found myself sitting there, promising to have two comps done by e.o. May. MAY! Ohh, gag. I know they're going to be supereasy, copy sites. I wish I could find a new job that would offer me a bunch of money so I could counter my salary here with something better and realistic. Perhaps this is karma's idea of a funny to play back on me, since I was making absurd amounts of income two years ago, for doing less work. Hmm. Conspiracy.

Different anxiety, the good kind: tomorrow the lease gets signed! Oh fun, what joy! Pity I didn't get to study up on Feng Shui as have been wanting to...hopefully my intuition doesn't fumble the flow of energy too much...

-15 days to go!

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Today I can't help it. I just don't feel like being at work! Piled up around me, requests flooding in, it all seems a bit unbearable. Consumption of chocolate in near future I predict. And why can't stupid Cory stop playing his music all loud? Did we all request to please hear ear-ruining, bad headache-causing music? I wasn't involved in the vote.

Ah, Mexico: 17 days away! Eeek! In the meantime I hope to pack and move all belongings over to the new apartment...if good ole' Fran would please call the agency back so our credit applications may be cleared. I hope there isn't any karma attached to those kinds of things. Late rent...landlord doesn't call the agency back for a little whiles...

Monster is swimming laps. I know I need to change his water! He's all agro and mouthy towards me. Makes me sad.

This weekend was fun, seeing Holly. So glad it was warm out! We had a good time, just hanging out and doing stuffs. I miss her, all the way out in Pullman. Kind of glad she's only got a year of skool left (hopefully just that!) but wonder where she'll go after that? It's funny but nice, that our entire family is all close and we don't have to plan big trips to see each other.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Blah, my nose is all stuffed. I wish I could portray the amount of snot in my head through these words I am typing.

Being sick sucks. I love eating but this cold has totally taken away my appetite. Stupid cold.

Fang is tired of living in a little bowl. He thinks he wants a nice big pond to swim in. I don't know what he'd do there, but he says he'd appreciate it all the same. What's the difference between the sayings
"Just the same"
"All the same"
? anything?

On the side (le appetizer), I do enjoy spending later evening hours in Barnes & Noble with my honey, exploring books and sipping teas.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Sun outside, sunny inside. So nice and warm today! Mexico is destined for takeoff in one month, starting today! I can't believe it's here already! The days are going to blow by, getting ready for leaving.

Last night I had this dream that I was walking down the halls at Sammamish with this girl I wasn't even friends with, and I saw Craig and Casey. They were all goth! Craig had some stuff in his hair to make it all spikey and he had dyed it black, and he was wearing eyeshadow and a ripped up t-shirt, then some lace-up boots. It wasn't really Craig because he wouldn't have ever dressed like that, but it was funny to see in my dream. Casey was goth too but he just had on this trench coat, which was creepy. His hair wasn't black, which was good because I would have gotten worried.

Now I am hungry. Foods! So glad my lovey boyfriend is getting me a munchie. Mon-chee-chee! Haa.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Well, that sucks.

I was just looking up online to try and find out what effects Turquoise has on Cancers, since it is a Saggitarian stone, and I got to find out that the President's birthday is three days before mine.

Am I doomed, Blog?
Bubbles coming out of my ears, trying to wake up! I need a blast of cold air in my face.

Tonight I get to go see Bowling for Columbine with B & Mark...been wanting to see that for awhile. I have been so much of a recluse lately! I wonder what the moon is doing right now. For awhile I was on the same pattern as the moon - if it was waxing, I had energy. So much of it, I was manic! But if it was waning, I was slow and not full of ideas or motivation. When I am closer to being myself, I don't push my energy I let it be. Perhaps that is why that will happen?

Well, duh. Just looking at my calendar, I see that tonight is a new moon (no moon), and that explains my low energy, want to sleep, and being a hermit! Phew...that is something - following the moon. We're all made of the same elements though so it does make sense that we could pick up on something that is related to us. Also here I found that right before our trip to Mexico, the moon starts waxing so when we're there we'll get a full moon! Last time I was there and it was a full moon, there were parties. People love celebrating the moon! Especially me, because being a Cancer makes me even closer to the moon. I'm a water sign, I can't help it!

So there is my dialogue on the Moon. Yay, moon! On to other topics...Bri moved in here so now my place is Full to the Brim! But it's good. I was just on the phone with my momma telling her about how I feel very much Me with B, and how I haven't ever felt that way with anyone before. But she knows that, and she told me she likes seeing us together because she knows he's good for me. I haven't had any anxiety about him moving in here, but I know I've thought about things from different angles. Does that mean some will come later? Or are we really just that cool? haha, I didn't mean it like that. Really though, I feel comfortable sharing my space with him and don't feel selfish when I need my own.

Toodles, I am going to get ready for the mov-ee. Slumber party tonight!!

Friday, March 28, 2003

[3/18/2003 10:36:11 AM | melissa dion]
Oh Jesus. I can't believe I'm almost Done with this stupid frootybooter site. Just finished up the It'l dealer locator, which had me thinking sort of about our Stupid President. How do we convince other countries to carry our stoopid frootyboots if they hate us? Can I EVER move to Canada? Or maybe when B and I go down south, we'll just STAY in Mexico. That's my latest plan. I could hand in snowboarding in exchange for a seemingly-endless life of "el surf bum". Definitely fathomable.

The past two days, I've gotten great sleep. Still groggy when I wake up, but my new routine of waking up 15 minutes before I Need to really makes a difference on my alertness in the AM.

Fang seems depressed. Can fish do that? I think he's either:
a) tired of his little home in the flower vase
b) sick of having Avril's picture on his home

Both of which I know would irritate me. could be time to take the bratty girl down. Her pouty face can't be anything of help or encouragement to me, now can it?

This month is going by at a much slower pace than February was. I like that! Coming home from work and knowing that I have four hours or so of whatever I want to do ahead of me, I like that! This weekend I hope it's sunny or at least dry so we can go skating. Things have been so lovely with Brian lately. I'm getting excited anticipating his moving in. I'm afraid of feeling cramped, because I already feel like that but he's over and around so much of the time already that I don't think it will be a rough adjustment. Plus, knowing that we'll be getting our *own* place in two months is a good reassurer that I can stay normal, because the light is at the end of our tunnel or whatever you'd think I'm in. I don't feel like I'm in a tunnel!

I wore my old vans today. So of course it rained. This morning was weird, being stuck in an elevator I think is the first time I've ever had an inkling of clausterphobia. Maybe if we couldn't have gotten ahold of anyone, it would have freaked me out after awhile? The whole time I was feeling hot and thinking about how I forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Funny, that was my worry. It would have sucked if we weren't on the bottom floor, if none of our cellphones worked, etc. But they did. A little 25-minute escapade of sorts, then off to work. Glad we made it, I don't like coming in late.

So that's my thoughts of the day. I feel dried up of thoughts. Want to finish my art projects!

When's the next ferry>>?

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Oh Jesus. I can't believe I'm almost Done with this stupid frootybooter site. Just finished up the It'l dealer locator, which had me thinking sort of about our Stupid President. How do we convince other countries to carry our stoopid frootyboots if they hate us? Can I EVER move to Canada? Or maybe when B and I go down south, we'll just STAY in Mexico. That's my latest plan. I could hand in snowboarding in exchange for a seemingly-endless life of "el surf bum". Definitely fathomable.

The past two days, I've gotten great sleep. Still groggy when I wake up, but my new routine of waking up 15 minutes before I Need to really makes a difference on my alertness in the AM.

Fang seems depressed. Can fish do that? I think he's either:
a) tired of his little home in the flower vase
b) sick of having Avril's picture on his home

Both of which I know would irritate me. could be time to take the bratty girl down. Her pouty face can't be anything of help or encouragement to me, now can it?

This month is going by at a much slower pace than February was. I like that! Coming home from work and knowing that I have four hours or so of whatever I want to do ahead of me, I like that! This weekend I hope it's sunny or at least dry so we can go skating. Things have been so lovely with Brian lately. I'm getting excited anticipating his moving in. I'm afraid of feeling cramped, because I already feel like that but he's over and around so much of the time already that I don't think it will be a rough adjustment. Plus, knowing that we'll be getting our *own* place in two months is a good reassurer that I can stay normal, because the light is at the end of our tunnel or whatever you'd think I'm in. I don't feel like I'm in a tunnel!

I wore my old vans today. So of course it rained. This morning was weird, being stuck in an elevator I think is the first time I've ever had an inkling of clausterphobia. Maybe if we couldn't have gotten ahold of anyone, it would have freaked me out after awhile? The whole time I was feeling hot and thinking about how I forgot to put on deodorant this morning. Funny, that was my worry. It would have sucked if we weren't on the bottom floor, if none of our cellphones worked, etc. But they did. A little 25-minute escapade of sorts, then off to work. Glad we made it, I don't like coming in late.

So that's my thoughts of the day. I feel dried up of thoughts. Want to finish my art projects!

When's the next ferry>>?

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Sunshine in my window, makes me smiley. Begonia peering through slanted eyes, trying to find where that noise is coming from.

Chocolate melting in mouth with tastebuds eagerly moving in for more. Song on the radio, voice I never will know but speaks in the same language.

It's hard to convey an emotion or thought to someone about something you experience without saying "i, me, myself." It's like a game, to write about things I think or see or feel, but not use those words in the sentence.

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Yaay! Think process is nearing the end for the day. It didn't take me as long as I thought it might, but I just learned a whole bunch about forms and submitting data to the SQL database, and generating automatic emails. Prolly sounds like a lot of nerd garble, but it was fun. Today was a good day! I snuggled my honeypie before taking a nice shower, had a relaxing morning and fun lunch eating with B and Sparky. I never had yummy salad at a restaurant like that before! But you know what I sort of noticed? This is probably just me being a snob because I am one, but I think the better foods I make for myself, the less impressed I am with dishes at restaurants. Example: fish, for me, is hard to cook. So any fish I order, is better than I could do. But if you take that tuna salad I had, though it was very good, I could easily make it exactly like they did. Maybe even better.

See? That's being a snob, right?

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

The fog is thick. It is blowing past my window like I am in an airplane, up on my 10th floor. Birds flying don't know which way is up, I can't even see to the freeway myself. When I look out the window, it is haunting like a ghost to not be able to see that far. How far out/up/around does this white extend? I feel trapped in a bubble, not readily comforted by what I usually take as a mystery, the fog. Not that it helps, having my honey so far away. The tv is yapping, I am sick of CNN. Hearing about the precautions, that "security is being beefed up to 100%" doesn't help - I just want it all to stop. End, you bad thoughts of what Bush is persevering.

I want my honey home, because I miss him and because I am afraid of the east coast right now. I don't feel secure, sitting in my fog. I can't call him if I hear anything, or want to say HI YOU. He is working, he is in a different time zone, and talking over the phone doesn't really make it all better.

I don't like the missing part of this.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Ol' Dirty Bastard, cracks me up!

And now, I get to build out the rollk2 site........F R O O T Y B O O T S!! Ah, yes. Surely the highlight of my career!

Monday, February 03, 2003

b l o g t i m e ! !
Hola, blog. Here I am, once again I find myself sitting at my workdesk with all this WORK to be done. It's not that hard today. This past weekend was a five-star fiasco. Smiles from all around, laughter resonates in my ears. We started off Friday night, B & I picked up Marcy and headed east through Blewett pass to reach destination: Wenatchee. (fioncee Matty checked in an hour ahead of us, scoping out hotel prices) That night was pretty chill. Drank a little, but went to bed early in anticipation of blue skies and good snow. When we woke up, it wasn't hard to get motivated to be up & at'tem because on the other side of the curtains, was bright sunshine!

Though it did take a good hour or so to heat up the crunchy topcrunch, we were soon blessed with sunny trails around every bend. I had never been to Mission before, and this was the perfect way to sell me on it. Speedily gliding through cornsnow, I fell instantly in love with the terrain and scenery. Having this be probably the best riding day to date, the four of us rode for a good six-and-a-half hours. I wasn't exhausted at all - I had a few more hours in me, indeed. But the sun did fall behind the hills, woe is us!

On the way home, B called up Mark to get him riled up and it was pretty much a done deal, we had Mark plus Jody on the way for a Saturday night shindig! From that point on, I have vague memory - yet it is fluid like water. Thai food was the buzz of the night, we found "the Thai" restaurant to gorge our faces out with dishes like Cashew nut chicken and Gang Gree. Funny! My guess was that we couldn't possibly find suitable Thai food in Wenatchee, me being a food snob and all; but there we were whooping up a storm and keeping the good times rolling with some de-lish-us foods in front of us. From there we made a pretty large attempt at bowling, until it was realized that the bowling alley had about 9 lanes and every man, son, and brother had already booked all the lanes for the night. (really, what were we thinking -- arriving at 10pm, trying to claim a lane?)

Through no fault other than our own, we flocked to a restaurant six blocks away from the hotel and settled in to the karaoke lounge. Although I really can't say Jody & myself "settled". With such Rad tunes blasting, I was dancing up a storm with Jody by my side. At this point, the detailing stops. All that is important, is that the whole weekend I had a lovely flow of good feelings running through me - I didn't want it to stop!

...I just have a harder time getting up in the morning, when it's overcast or foggy. I'm the kind of person who likes the sun!

Friday, January 31, 2003

Yarrr...captain longbeard here. We're opening the hatchets, throwing the kitty out the window and leaving garbage on our neighbor's stoop. Yarrr.....!

All kitty wants is Attention! Look at me, I have work to do and my mind is sucking on code right now. MMm, that feels like soup. So the kitty will sit on my lap, occasionally putting a paw up on my keyboard. She likes to know that she is numero uno in whatever might be going on with me at the moment. For her benefit, I have moved her throne so she may lounge freely right next to me. Eyes glued on fingers of mine typing, she is in wonder of all I do. Or maybe that's just my side of that story.

This weekend I am so looking forward to! For a fleeting moment there was thought of heading north to the great land of the W-B (read: sooperpipe!). But that was just a play. Tonight, we head east to another great land, this time the one of Mission Ridge. A new adventure - my favorite! There will be friends there, some foods to eat, beers to be a-drunk....And of course the good times! What a life I live. Nothing is more satisfying than being happy and content with what you have in your life. I am going to try to complain less. I KNOW! It's been a habit since forever, probably since before I was born, I had a different opinion. Let's try to lighten the mental load and venture into the - I don't know what to call it. Venture into the place in my mind where I am in the Now? Hm. Guess I should need to think about that one. But I am going to make that effort. One shitty thing about that, is I will be the only one who can note my defeats or conquerings. As you heard, I am not saying I will cut them out completely. More like, watch how often negative things spew out. Let them stay in me, some. This is something so one-sided. Many arguments, objections, exceptions come up even as I type this.

So, let's change the subject! I have made an announcement, so let's just see where it goes, ok?

I am going to go make some yummy eggs and eat avocado on toast. Cheers, Blog!

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

I know it's coming - the rush of work that will consume me like I wish for; but until then, I will sit cozy and refreshen my Flash abilities and search for code I need to build new things.

And I LovE listening to Coldplay - song about Green Eyes is so beautiful, like the times in highschool when I would hear Radiohead and think all sorts of thoughts at once, thinking how pure and real and sure I was about standing on my own, about loving. Good music makes my day, it makes any day. The soundtrack to my life...

Cause I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter, since I met you. Honey you should know, that I could never go.on.without you.

I love this year more than any time in my life, and it's still just getting started. How great is that? Great!!

Friday, January 17, 2003

I have the most supportive boyfriend, ever. For all the times that I've heard about people being happy in relationships and wondered what it would feel like to want to just Be with someone when I was younger; now I know. My heart is content, it leaps in joy and laughter when I am with my honey. It's true! I can't get enough peeks of us in pictures together and feeling warm fuzzies when he smiles at me like so. And the future is so Bright! I love to think of us taking trips - around the world and even just out to the coast. There is nowhere that I would want to travel without him. Another thing, that I always wanted to find but had never put a face on who I would do it with until now, is going shopping at places to buy paint for the walls in our house, or to buy some matching glasses for the kitchen. I want to buy a house together - do you know that although secretly I have always wished to do that, I was doubting it would happen? Not that someone wouldn't want to, but more like I wouldn't want to with them. Us finding each other, I think, is pure wonderful luck. Or something close to that...hard to describe. Very special and I feel so lucky to be at the right time and feel so right about him and us.

There are things that I get frustrated with inside myself. I don't understand why he says there aren't things about me that bother him. How?? I know that he loves me, but I don't think that that is the reason for him saying that. Now, I don't think that for things to bother him, that he wants to change me - but those things would be OK, too. Am I scary to approach? God, I just realized I don't think I've been this open about my personal relationships Ever, and especially online too. Are you reading this? Do you feel like you're snooping. Ok, fine. Don't stop reading then. See if I care! Ha.

So, what I was saying is that I don't know if I'm that intimidating to approach because I am so harsh, or if there really is nothing. Why can't there be something that he wished I do less, or changed the way I do it? I can't be perfect. I'm not. I don't give him all the love he neeeds. He likes things like snuggling, and sweet things being said. I am guilty of not giving those things enough. It makes me sad inside. Was it something about how my parents brought me up? Why do I feel de-tuned? I am going to see a counselor next week, voluntarily, and think it will be good. I want to make a list of things I want to talk about, and make some goals. Those, I think, I want to define after I start seeing her (like the first day, maybe) so that I can see what it is that is most important, or what I'd want to focus on.

Thursday, January 16, 2003

I want to be able to quit my job. So I can have all the time in the world to lounge about and eat truffles, watch Invader Zim and snuggle my honey. Though my work is very satisfying, I like the interaction with people and my yearning for learning is on the Up here - I never feel like I have enough Time to show B how special he is to me. I wish that we could travel the world, endlessly, covering trails and paved roads, wandering through towering, ancient buildings...watching the world grow around us. With only the two of us, in turn, each sending love to the other's heart. My soul is in love, I cannot type this color that is flowing through me. I cannot verbalize, form words out of these thoughts.

What it boils down to is this: sometimes I wish my mind was a big screen so you could see the little electrons bumping off each other in there, where my thoughts are going after they are created and how they were birthed. Then I wouldn't have to explain myself.

None of this is making sense right now. Right now I am tired, I don't want to work. I want to go home and snuggle with my Lovey and not have to talk. I want us to communicate on a thought-level. I can't think right now. This is all yammering. Maybe I am big WAH right now? Nah, I don't know what I would be for. Except I reeeeeally want a foods. Don't know what kind. I think I will try to read this new sequel table. *FUN*!! haha.

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I just had the strangest sensation run swiftly through my brain.

I'm very much looking forward to yoga tonight. It's something that I have been wanting to try, and hopefully take up, for some years. Tonight should be fun because there is a group of us going (B included!) and I feel more at ease, less self-conscious when I'm not alone. At least with new things. So, I was thinking about what it might be like, how great it's going to feel, etc. and my head is just feeling very good this week. Tempermentally, I have been on the UP. Not much bogging me down or running me in emotional circles. What I start thinking is, wow - wouldn't it be nice to be this laid back and thoughtless more often? I had visions of myself going to a counselor and keeping up with yoga and kung fu - and it hit me. I'm not looking for a Thing that will release me. This IS me. Not that I haven't realized this before, or tried to deny it. But when I get the remembrance, the solid rush of something so...Human...rushing through me, I can't just brush it away.

Nothing seems to hold my short attention span, in terms of activities. People do, long-term plans do. But part of me just keeps seeking the next level of accomplishment, the thing that will cure me of my emotions that get tangled, get into arguments with each other and cause me to Feel. My real goal is to just enjoy life - I love so much of Me and everything that I have been blessed with. It's true - I have so much good in my life, it's disgusting to hear me ever complain. But my brain! It doesn't like to feel the things that go through me, and I never seem to have reins on them. So I plod on through life, having my times. It's good.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to yoga tonight. If it's something we enjoy, it would be nice to go regularly with B. I'm going to keep going with my day - that feeling I just described, it went through me in about 30 seconds and I think it has taken me ten minutes to type it out.

Friday, January 10, 2003

Something very strange is happening. Last night I had a dream that I was at a Mary Lou Lord concert, because she had a new album out. She sounded different, like teen pop or something. She was dressed in pink taffeta shirt with sparkly butterflies on it and black fishnet stockings. Nothing that I would actually expect to see her in, but that's what she was wearing. In real life, I actually have one of her albums. Maybe the only one she did? But John just played "speedy motorcycle" - by yo La Tengo but Mary Lou Lord sang that on her album and it was like part of my dream was being played again in my mind, hearing that. Spooky.

In other news, I'm excited it's Friday because that means adventures are abound for the weekend! What will we dream up to do - and what will actually happen? Satellite shows precipitation coming our way - sooner than we had expected, as well. Sounds good to me! But if it doesn't snow I hope to do some skatebording and lounging, having good company.

Ah, what a breath of fresh air it was to ride my bike home this morning. Wasn't aware it was 33 degrees out! So I'm awake now. Where should Holli and I go to eat?

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Harrooow! And welcome to the new year. I'm back at work, and it's sort of hard to keep my mind on task because I keep thinking of things I want to do when I move into a house. Gardening, cooking, furniture I can buy. Not like I have money to do that now, or should be looking at where to live. Places don't seem to stay on the market for too long here, for rentals at least. And I really hope to move into a house. Or something with more of a yard than I had in Ballardo.

Well, not much to talk about because there is a sueper extreme lack of snow. It's all sheet-ice up there and not too much fun as we found out on Monday. This weekend we were expecting to make it up to Mission and finally use our passes, but forget that. It hasn't snowed and even though the freezing level is going back down, there ain't no precip expected for the next 4 days, at least. I'm hoping to go up to Orcas and ride there or maybe PDX and Newburg. Something! Skating was so so fun last weekend - why do I dork and forget to go out & skate when it's dry? Durr...

Ok here comes an experiment:
My work now has a cafeteria. Today will be my first time, ever, to eat at the "new" cafeteria. Report soon to follow....