Sunday, May 30, 2004

And talk of all the things we did today
And laugh about our funny little ways
While we have a few minutes to breathe
Then I know that it's time you must leave

But darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

And now
A quarter of my life is almost past
I think I've come to see myself at last
And I see that the time spent confused
Was the time that I spent without you
And I feel myself in bloom

So darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

------ instrumental break ------

Darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

And beat your crazy head against the sky
And see beyond the houses and your eyes
It's ok to shoot the moon

So darling
My darling be home soon
I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute if you dawdled
My darling be home soon
It's not just these few hours but I've been waiting since I toddled
For the great relief of having you to talk to

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Tonight so far:
Work. Stopped when Honeypie came home but am supposed to start back up. Do I have a.d.d.? I am so easily distracted, but Want to get this done! I hate that our work schedule is so rigorous. Not fast-paced - rigorous. As in, don't stop, don't think, just get it done! They need it, they will pester you for it. I don't have much time for research, thinking of fun/ideas - no. So taking a bubble bath tonight, drinking some wine was sooo necessary but now it's like ACK! Almost 9.30pm and still don't have a clue of how to re-design tech sections for ride. I started something last week but don't like it. The main problem is that I don't like their site. It's so...techy? Not in an up-to-date sense but just rigid and 90-degree angles and not much room for creative. Then they want 'fun' thrown in there. Yeah, right.

So...this wine is good. Anyone want to talk about something besides work? Ug. I hope I can find some inspiration in the next half-hour or so, or else I'm quitting and going to bed.

It's been a torrential downpour at some point throughout the day for the past three days, which I LOVE. It's exciting: the booming thunder, huge rain pelting against the windows, big puddles and mini-rivers accumulating and running down streetways and gutters. Don't get me wrong, I like it to be sunny and happy out but the rain gets me excited inside.

And: backtoworking. (wah face.)


Wednesday, May 26, 2004

This is terrible. For the past three days all I crave when I'm hungry is PoTaTo Chips! Why? They don't fill me up well, they taste pretty good but make me feel like a big slob...wah.

So now we're putting out a job proposal to this guy to come in and help and I'm having thoughts of my boss not liking my work anymore. It's ridiculous but I can't stop myself from feeling threatened. I think it will be great, having help and we can do more, focus on features on the sites instead of running full-steam ahead non-stop.

Glad to be around this weekend and have nothing planned. It feels good, just having all this time open to do whatever we like. Hope it clears up...Oh! Going dress shopping today! Very excited for this. Hope it's pretty easy, that I don't have to order dresses to try on and such. I know it will be fun, and I'm glad Gin & Hol can help me out because I think sometimes I have a warped view of what I look like? Not that I picture myself fat or ugly, but I think I look good in things that aren't flattering or don't fit me well. This is where B comes in and tells me to change my shoes or match a different shirt or something. Thank god for him!

Ok werk is calling me back (along with the potato chips) ::

Friday, May 21, 2004

I have been the biggest grump in the entire world for the past 24 hours. I am SICK of being broken, my shoulders hurting, my face looks so great (two black eyes, green-bruised forehead...), it hurts to sit too long, etc. WAH! One thing that I am very lucky about is my husband-to-be is very understanding, sympathetic and is doing his best to turn our smallish apartment into a garden of vases and flowers and such. If I were to be left alone I would probably explode from all these scattered emotions I'm feeling. But then he calls me to say HI and it calms me down...for the most part. Sometimes I'm in this work-funnel and I really don't want to talk. He's still sweet though.

This weekend: I'm starting to get all bummed that we're not doing the lapushe trip with the gang. In about two hours they'll all be loading up on ferries and such and I'll be hacking away at fun code! It's probably mean of me, but I'm glad it's at least raining. I can't surf for at least another week, I can't skate, I can't ride my bike even! Thank god people want to go to movies and keep me otherwise occupied. Scrabble sounds like a good thing to do this weekend, too.

Did I tell you I still might have to get surgery? Yeah. If the ultrasound I get in a few weeks shows the cyst is still in my ovary, they are going in. I am rolling my eyes as I'm typing. Sure hope it goes away!

Back to work. Going in next week actually sounds like fun (!) since I haven't been in now for almost two weeks...

Monday, May 17, 2004

Hi. I don't want to write this out, but I'm going to before I get sick of telling the story all-together and never write it down. So I think I wrote on Saturday, right? So that day went fine. Great, actually - I got all the shopping I needed to get done, done; I went out to Woodinville & brought B his golf clubs and made his day (did I say previously how much I wanted to spoil him this weekend?), got a lunch w/him; went to Whole Foods and got everything delicious for dinner, got more presents wrapped and started on dinner pretty much on time. Full day there! Dinner was great, B was stoked (I think) on all his presents, and we played boggle. There was also some hanky-panky, but I don't need to write about that here!

So things get interesting around 10:00 when I get cramps. I thought "oh, this sucks, I'm going to get my period tomorrow" and we went to bed around 10:30, me still thinking how much I Hate cramps, and these ones were real bad. I couldn't move too well and it hurt to stand up. At 1am I woke up in extreme pain, but thought I had to pee. So I somehow make it to the toilet and I'm doubled over, thinking to myself that I'm really in too much pain to even pee.

Next thing, I'm hearing B yelling "what are you doing?!" "melissa! get up!" and I am facedown out by the computer table, lying on some shoes. My entire body is sweating, I'm cold and my ears sound like water rushing or like tin pipes. I feel my forehead and it's like there's a golf ball above my right eyebrow. My pants are still down to my knees from when I was on the loo. "Why are you bleeding?" - I look down and the wine bottle that fell, I thought it spilled some wine on me. - I am getting the chills writing this. - I tell him it's the wine, and he says "no, look at your fingers - where are you bleeding." I can't move, I'm on my back holding my knees to my chest and B calls 911. I'm crying, my abdomen is just killing me and for the first time, I'm really scared about what's wrong with me. I thought I just had menstrual cramps but something more terrible happened. When 911 showed up, there were two doctors peering down at me, then three more showed up and finally when I had to be put on the stretcher, three came in. Eight paramedics in our little apartment! About 15 times I was asked if I could be pregnant. They thought maybe a baby was in my fallopian tubes.

So, riding in an ambulance isn't fun. It was cold and very uncomfortable. I was all strapped down and really wanted to put my knees back to my chest. They take me to the hospital and find that I was bleeding from a cut that was about an inch-and-a-half in size, and I don't know how deep b/c it is by my right ear. They stick an IV in me, they novocaine up my noggin and I get a real messy wash job done on the cut. By this time I've given blood, had my blood pressure/pulse taken about six times and it's about 2:45am. The doctor comes in to STAPLE my cut shut. I didn't see the instrument but it made that good CAH-CHUNG noise that staple guns make. B took a good pic of it today, it's pretty gnarly.

What next? Oh, I'm injected with fenadril or something and it instantly makes me feel like I'm tipsy-drunk. Pretty funny. The doctors are still asking me if I could be pregnant, but the blood test says NO. (thank god!). Next, they want to do a cat-scan, because now they're leaning towards it being my appendix. I'm not scared of being cut up or needles and stuff, but I really didn't want a surgery. But whatever, it wasn't my appendix. The cat-scan was interesting. B said the control room was all star-trek looking; lots of buttons with lights, dials and whathaveyou. The scan didn't take long, and I was still tipsy so it wasn't bad.

Now we get to wait...and wait...give blood, take some blood pressure...wait...B was SO patient, I felt terrible for him! I at least got to lie down but he had one of those horrible plastic chairs, nothing to lean on to snooze. I think it was like 4:30a when the doctor Finally came in to announce that he thinks I had a cyst in my abdomen that burst, and the blood in there was causing my bad pain. And that I likely passed out in the bathroom, that it burst when I was sitting there. It's still weird that I don't remmeber how I fell or cut myself. Scary too.

Great, so now we knew what it must be but we had to wait for a room in the hospital so I could get out of the ER! Poor, poor lovey - I was fading in and out from the pain meds and he had nothing but the uncomfortable chair and bad TV to watch. I kept telling him to go home because I felt bad but he wanted to stay. So finally, it's like 7:30a and I have a room! I am wheeled on my bed through a maze of different elevators and hallways and find myself in my room. Not a bad room - I had a view of Harborview (that building is Huge!), a little of Amazon and the water. My OWN room, too - no sharing my TV with someone else, or being worried about no privacy. And the electronic bed was a luxury, for the time being.

I think this is the longest blog I have ever written. So I am there, I kinda get to sleep but I have to give blood ten more times, more blood pressure checks, I get to have an ultrasound - which was super cool. I could see my kidneys, my uterus, bladder, ovaries...and the cysts. There were two of those bastards! One had already burst, and I could tell b/c it looked not dense and smallish. The second one was IN my right ovary, and is still there. My doc decided not to do surgery b/c my body will likely take care of it itself. Go, me! So I got to come home today just at noon - I had been there just about 36 hours!

Not much else to tell - of course I had visitors, and B was so sweet through everything. I feel so terrible b/c even though there is nothing I could have done to prevent any of it, it still happened on his birthday.

What a blog this is! That should keep you up-to-date for awhile. I have to stay home and be unactive for awhile, so I doubt there will be much else to report on until I'm a little better. Going to figure out a new layout for dillo site now (hopfully). Wish me luck!

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Oh my god, I just posted and saw I didn't write ANYTHING in April. Holy crap have I been that busy? Way to go, me.
Well, HELLOOOoooo.

I have been doing so much running around and thinking about everything for B's birthday, it's been so fun! And I really think that I did a good job so far on everything this year. I don't want to say much about anything right now in case for some reason he comes home and decides to check on my blog before we eat dinner or something strange like that. Speaking of dinner, he requested that I make spaghetti. Now, I think I'm a pretty competent cook but something tells me that he's scared I'm going to fuck it up or try something new that's no good. Spaghetti is a safe bet. He doesn't even want me to make the sauce!

Oh, I better get going on that...I AM going to make the sauce, and it's going to be damn good too. I'm even going to make the garlic bread. And I have to shower still...oh, augh! I don't need to have a panic attack about getting everything done. Stay calm...breathe...

Did I tell you how good Belle & Sebastian were? SO GOOD: I danced my ass off (in boots!) and sang along to every song. It was so fun so fun. Too bad they only come to Seattle every three years or whatevear. Weird, we just had a slew of shows and I can't think of anything coming that I care too much about seeing. Hm.

Started making list of people to invite to the wedding. I have to keep on myself about these things, I forget how fast time flies and once July hits, the summer is going to breeze by. Bye!