Tuesday, August 21, 2007

what now?

Sometimes I think that I'll find a love
One that's gonna change my heart
I'll find it in commercial appeal
And then this heartache'll get chased away

I don't know why I feel this way. Like running down a field until my feet trip, head over heels I'm stumbling and rolling. Travel is consuming me, I want to get out so bad. Away. Closer but not far. Far but not all the way. I don't even care much where, just that it happens. There is room for everything I want. Wiggling its way in, I'll keep my dreams alive, the ones close to my heart that feed my brain's sensory.

Dance, dance dance away. Kick up your shoes, fly away in the wind. I'm going to bed now.


my heart
it don’t beat
it don’t beat the way it used to.
and my eyes,they don’t see you no more.
and my lips, they don’t kiss,
they don’t kiss the way they used to,
and my eyes don’t recognize you at all.

Need to pick up pain thinner on my way home from work. Easel is all set up and ready to go, canvas waiting. Colors bursting through me, I want to get this out. I feel good and great I feel ready and amped. I also feel like the shell that's dropped into the sea and slowly drifts down to the sandy bottom.

Got excited for moving last night, looking at redfin. Not sure where that's going to end up but it's going to happen and it will be good. I'm singing inside. Too busy to write here at work, want to get back to this.

Friday, August 10, 2007

It feels so good to be home tonight. Me, the cat, my tv and computer. Wish I had some paint thinner though, the easel looks like fun to play with. And I have all that fun paper too, just not really in the mood to cut & paste. Or sew. I'm pretty beat, actually. All week the fun hasn't stopped. Last night's sushi was fun, let's do that again! I'm even too beat to want to upload pics off the camera. Blah.

Curious if we'll end up going to La Poosh tmrw. It would be so nice to sit on the smooth rocks, next to a fire ... It would also be fun to end up in town with a whole bunch of nothing to do. Open road, open plans. I love it!

Very happy lately. I like having my time back.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Talkin' shit about a pretty sunset,
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

My mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself.
I changed my mind so much I can't even trust it.

Life is strange. You meet people, you learn things about them and they move on. Some people you learn about and you weave stories together and it bonds you. Life goes on and you have strings to people and things that matter. Without them can sometimes be easier, sometimes harder. I'm learning (again) that I have a great foundation of friends, full of love.

Work is so much work lately. Pretty overwhelming. I switched modes and have been listening to This is a Long Drive pretty much all day. I love music that has been a soundtrack to my life for so long. Can't remember who they opened up for but I can vividly remember seeing these guys at the velvet elvis. There were just bleachers set up for chairs, they might have played a whole five songs but we were so excited just to SEE them.

Dark chocolate with caramel is pretty effin' phenomenal.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

LCD Soundsystem can play in my ear all day long. Little symphony of beats and spinning and marching on. Work is so busy and I LOVE my job ... BUT (always the "but!") I could really use a break. October cannot come fast enough I tell you. We're going to Panamaaaaa and there will be good times. Ah, lusting after something so sweet as new places, new languages, new foods and sights and the open road with some friends. Life is sweet as honey. Warm as hot cocoa in the lodge, cozy like the blankets when you're sleeping in on the weekend. Love it!!!!

I wake up and the phone is ringing,
Surprised, as it's early.
And that should be the perfect warning,
That something's, a problem.
To tell the truth I saw it coming,
The way, you were breathing.B
ut nothing can prepare you for it,
The voice, on the other, end.